Starve.io fanfic 5 - "First loss".

                                                                     First loss/Первая утрата

                                                    This is the fifth of the starver Moon tales.

"Is it really for real, no, I’m probably sleeping," - Moon is standing in the living room and looks in front of him with an unseeing look. Nearby, three adults are discussing something loudly, their voices are excited ... But Moon hears them as if from a distance, his eyes are covered with a muddy veil and tears, apart from the will, flow from big black eyes ...

And how good it all began today: in the morning he and his father were fishing and caught four large perches and three crucians. Then, on the way home, they met Paw, the Wolly's cub, from this year’s brood. He was already a teenager and often out of curiosity he got close to the starvers.
Moon couldn't resist treating him to a fish, although he threw it as far as possible - so that the wolf cub would “hunt”.
Then, when my mother cooked an fresh-soup, a guest came to them. This stranger immediately struck Moon with his colorful appearance: firstly, he was of a dark color, which is quite rare among starvers; secondly, he had long, shaggy purple eyebrows. The boy been champing at  the desire to draw him. But talking about it from the doorway was not very polite. Yes, and the guest’s gaze seemed very severe to Moon.
He introduced himself as Hunt, and was probably a very successful hunter. His backpack was made of dragon leather, and how many trophies were in the backpack - the boy could only guess.
Since the guest arrived at dinner,  mother immediately invited him to the table. He tried to refuse:  said he is not hungry and he has enough of his supplies. It seems that he generally wanted to pass by .. But Prima was not like that to let the guest go hungry. Moreover, guests rarely came here.
Hunts  was poured a bowl of  fish soup, he was seated at the table  and all began to wait with interest for his stories. But he was not very talkative. He only said that for the most part he spends his life on the road, lives hunting, sometimes exchanging trophies for bread, vegetables and medicines. It seemed somehow mysterious, like a chest locked in a key that does not share its treasures with anyone.
Having dinner, he thanked the owners and, opening the backpack, began to look for something in it. Moon examined with curiosity the edges of animal skins sticking out of it. There were red foxes and squirrels, white bear and arctic foxes, gray wolf and pink rabbit furs. The boy clearly saw long black claws protruding from the hollow  paws of a polar bear.
Hunt, meanwhile, pulled two large pieces of meat from his backpack.
-I don't want to remain in debt, - he said, - This is for you, owners, for your kindness.
- No, really, it's not necessary, -Prima waved her hands.
- Hm, is that a wolf meat? -  asked  Reef.
- Yes, fresh, just a couple of hours as mined.
- That's how, and where? I guess somewhere nearby? The reef frowned anxiously.
- Yes, in an oak forest, not far from a lake surrounded by rocks. This wolf himself came to me: large, seasoned. Looks like a pack leader. But you yourself, probably, have seen him more than once.
-I'm afraid so...- Reef looked excitedly at Moon.
He didn't take his eyes off the backpack. Now he could see in it something, that  he wouldn't wish  on his worst enemy: among the gray wolf hides there was a fluffy tail with a white spot on the tip ... Only one wolf in the whole district had such a tail.
-Wally, -Moon whispered quitly.
Poorly understanding what he was doing, he walked up to the backpack and pulled out a large wolfskin.
There was no doubt: this is Wally ...

And now, Moon stood as if delirious, unable to believe in the reality of what was happening. He was holding Wally’s head in his hands, so flat and unnaturally light, and little by little the awareness of the irreparable nature of what had happened reached his mind.

- You don't understand how much this wolf meant to him, but what is there for him - for all of us! - shouted the father.
-He saved Moon's life! - echoed Prima.
And what did Hunt say? He was silent ... He didn't try to make excuses and didn't apologize. He was just silent.
Moon looked up at him: not a single muscle flinched on the face of the stern hunter. That was too much ...
-I'll go,- the boy said, dropping the wolfskin to the floor.
- Where? - worried Prima.
- Somewhere ... I'll get a little airy, - and, without waiting for further questioning, the boy quickly slipped past the adults outside.
Then he took a deep breath and quickly walked towards the birch grove, crossed the bridge over a fast stream and dabbled a little among the thickets of berry bushes, and finally went out into his secret meadow. True, it was no longer a secret: his parents knew about this quiet place where Moon had once settled Wally.
Now Wally had long lived in an oak forest, where he had a  den. Or rather ... he didn’t live anymore. Wally was gone. How so?
Moon sat down and thought deeply. Seven years ... Seven years have passed since their first meeting. Seven springs, seven winters. So much water under the bridge ... During this time, Moon from a little boy turned into a teenager, and Wally became a large, strong leader and has grown up several generations of wolf cubs.
Yes, the wolf was no longer young and, perhaps, would soon be overthrown or even killed by a younger male. Of course, even then Moon would have been saddened by his death, but it would have been an ordinary wolf death - and so they die in nature. But the scene he witnessed at home ... This situation itself caused him some kind of disgust. Just think:the guest wanted to treat him to the meat of his friend! Of course, wanted to make them enjoyable, but it turns out ... he did such a dirty trick! Eh, maybe it would really be better if he passed by ... Or at least he  didn't show them this meat ... Then Moon would never have known what inglorious end his companion suffered. Well, let! It may be better sometimes to remain in ignorance.
For two years now, when he had not heard any news from Cloud and his father; Long had never flown by on his plane. And suddenly - they have long been dead, and he is sitting here, grieving for the wolf and doesn't even know about it ...
- Son, how are you? - a quiet mother's voice is heard.
- Fine  ... - Moon dismisses. He would like to be alone: ​​what a pity that the secret glade is no longer a mystery.
Prima comes closer and carefully throws a warm blanket over him.
- Oh, Mom, don’t ... - Moon tries to dump it.
-It will be evening soon - you’ll freeze, - says mom and sighs, -Maybe we’ll go home. Hunt is already leaving.
- How interesting... Has  made a mess of things - and leaves.
- But Moon, you know that he’s not on purpose.
-I know, but it doesn't seem like he was worried about it.
- You're wrong, Moon.
- Oh really?
- Yes, he is very worried. Try it: imagine how you would feel in his place?
- Probably terrible, - Moon sighed. He didn't want to think about someone else’s feelings now.
-He wanted to talk to you, son.
- Don't.
- But ...
- I don't want anyone.Tell him that I forgive him - and that’s it.
- Do you really forgive him? - mother bowed her head.
In the throat of Moon rose a lump.
- Just say I forgive ... Okay?
- Good, son, - the mother stroked the starver on the head.
He cringed at the gentle touch: recently, motherly caress for some reason began to annoy him. No, it’s not that it sharply lost its  liking - it just seemed to equate him to a five-year-old baby. At least, it seemed to Moon.
Therefore, despite the pleasant sensations, the starver  dissatisfiedly held out:
- Moooom ...
- Silly one, - Prima said reproachfully. - Don’t sit here for long - it’s getting cold.
- I’ll make a bonfire, - he answered with tightened calm.
After Mom left, Moon really stacked the pre-assembled pieces of wood, produced a spark and lit a fire. Sitting on a log, he looked at a bright flame and felt a pleasant warmth pouring over his body. He didn't want to think about anything; he didn't feel either pain or joy. He just basked around the fire ...
It is not known how long he sat like that ... He was revived by the rustle of steps behind him. Moon looked around: Hunt stood in front of him.
- How did you find me? - he asked in surprise. The boy was sure that his parents would never  give out his secret.
- Follow the trail. I’m a hunter,  - he answered calmly.
-I see, - Moon lowered his eyes.
Both were silent for a moment.
- I'm leaving, - Hunt finally said, - but I think it would be wrong to do this without talking to you.
Moon nodded and motioned him to sit down. Hunt carefully crouched on a log nearby. He unzipped his backpack and took out a bundle, or rather, a sack.
- Here, - he said,  - I thought: you want to bury him yourself.
- l? - Moon opened his eyes wide. But after a second, his gaze again became dull and indifferent. - Leave it to yourself ... So at least Wally's death will not be in vain.
- What do you think ?! - Hunt frowned long eyebrows. - In your opinion, will I be able to eat at least a piece of his meat  after all i know now ? Or sew clothes from his skin? I feel  as if I took life from a starver, ugh!
- Well... - Moon began uncertainly, - you could sell it or give it to someone ...
- I don't understand you, kid. Then, at home, when you stood with this skin, you had such eyes ... as if you had lost a close friend, a family member ...
Moon looked in surprise at his interlocutor: is this stern hunter really so worried about his feelings?
- And now, -Hunt continued,  - it’s as if you don’t care what will happen to him next.
-But he is no longer here - so what's the difference? - sobbed Moon.

Hunt looked at him carefully.
- What's the difference? He saved your life, boy. Doesn't he deserve to be worthily buried?
- Yes, he does! - shouted Moon and cried. He could no longer restrain himself; he forgot about embarrassment and shame. He lost a friend - and had to mourn him.
Hunt silently stared at the bright flame. Over a long life, he has often seen grief and tears. It’s impossible to get used to this, you can only temporarily move over ...
This is what Hunt has dealt with in recent years: he has withdrawn from everyone and everything. He lived alone, almost didn't communicate with anyone ... And  it is ironic that for the first time coming in contact with this nice family, he again saw grief and tears. And the reason for this was he himself!
- I'm so sorry, kid, - he said sadly. - If I could somehow atone for my guilt ... Just tell me - I will do everything.
Moon wiped away the tears.
-Nothing is needed, - he said quietly. - This is not your fault.
- No, it's my .
- No, it's not!  - said Moon. - It was an accident!
- And yet I robbed you of a friend ...
- Never mind ... Recently, I had little contact with him. He was already aging, he had a Pack ... Father once said: "Only starvers are capable of conscious friendship." I didn't want to believe him then. But now, now I'm starting to understand him ...
Hunt nodded silently.
-Simply, - continued Moon, -this wolf has become a part of me, a part of my life. And now it's   leaving with him somewhere off ...
- I understand,- said Hunt, - the past is irrevocable. But it somehow affects your present. The question is: is it good or bad? Sometimes things happen that you better forget about.
-Yes, that's for sure, - Moon nodded. - You know, it's so good with you ...
- Come on, kid.
- No, really ... You asked if you could do something for me?
- Yes.
- Then I ask you: don't leave, stay with me at least until the morning.
- As you wish, - Hunt stretched wearily. - But I'm not the best person to talk to.
- Me too, - Moon smiled. - In my opinion, the best person to talk to is fire.
- Fire?
- Well, yes, he is whispering something in his fiery tongue: hisses, bursts. Nothing is clear, but soothing. Have you noticed?
-Oh, yes, - Hunt agreed. For many years, the fire was his only real interlocutor ...
Two starvers silently looked at the bright flame, their dark silhouettes cast long shadows on the grass and bushes ...
Reef, secretly watching them from behind a tree, smiled and quietly went to the house.
- Well? - his wife asked anxiously.
- It's all right, - he answered quietly.
                                                                         …
The next morning, Moon and Hunt buried Wally by a large stone, not far from the rocky lake.
- We loved playing with him here, - said Moon.
On the stone were many drawings depicting wolves and the prints of their paws ...
Moon understood that now he would not play with anyone here: neither with Paw, nor with other wolves ... This place will keep the memory of his friend until the rains and the sun completely erase all marks from the stone.  He will not correct them them ... He will not live in the past ...
A strange feeling took possession of the boy: an amazing mixture of bitterness and joy. Bitterness comes from loss, and joy from acquisition . Under the stone’s floor lay his loss, and nearby stood his acquisition: a new friend, an amazing, mysterious starver named Hunt ...

*I hope this story did not seem too gloomy to you. The text was translated using Google translator. Original here: https: //ficbook.net/readfic/8830230